Is it worth it? 

Is it worth it? 

Today, I found myself having to make a difficult phone call to someone who I perceive to be difficult (I’m working on it). We’d gone back and forth on emails and I decided that I would bite the bullet and get the (non) issue resolved.
Ordinarily, I would be happy to take on board any feedback so long as I feel that I have been heard and understood. But, two minutes into the call, I sensed I wasn’t being heard at all and any efforts on my part to push this through would be futile. So while this individual went on and on about what they thought I “should” have done I listened quietly. A few times she cajoled me with rhetorical questions but I didn’t bite. Something in me just would not let me get in the mud ring with her. And it is in this calm that I heard her mumble and stumble over her words and repeat herself over and over . I also heard myself; the many times in the past that I have engaged in redundant arguments because I felt the need to be heard or understood.    
It is an underlying desire for us to feel that another person sees us and understands where we are coming from. But often we seek this in places that are unaccommodating and then act surprised when we find ourselves in a disagreement. 
I read somewhere that in such situations, you have to choose to be either happy or right. In that quiet space, I chose happy and still got what I wanted out of the situation. Some people, love to rant and rave. Lesson learned: You don’t have to take part in it. 


2 responses »

  1. Well done you! The power of self control or self preservation. Its not always easy to do. Even more profound when you can recognise it mid argument😊

           “You are most powerful when you are most silent. People never expect silence. They expect words, motion, defense, offense, back and forth. They expect to leap into the fray. They are ready, fists up, words hanging leaping from their mouths. Silence? No.”

    (Alison McGhee)

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

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