Running from sleep
Because then I would have to concede
That I am merely human!
But one with godly tendencies
Has a universe to create
And in between these sleepy hollows
I will find my way to you .
There’s this little monster barely four feet tall
She started out needy, desperate for love and attention
Tut tuts in the kitchen
The world is ablaze.
And we spit into the fire.
We all know what’s going on.
We know where we went wrong
But Lord help us should anyone know
Exactly where we stand.
Opinions watered down
In a sea of preferment.
You either dance to the song
Or sit yourself down.
No ones listening to your tune.
The death of our dreams lies in our apathy.
A programmed empathy only has one victim.
Yet we all bleed.
My hearts yearned
Loved and lost.
The roots of hate and despair
Have grown in these soils
I’ve been someone’s pride and joy;
My laughter’s rung through the silent nights.
Grappling the heart of an unsuspecting lover,
I bat my eyelids and they fell to the floor.
I walked past them and no one turned their heads.
A sea of contradiction.
A vault of experience ,
The journey not over.
I seek the title of
I’ve been standing so straight my back hurts.
Landed flat on my feet each time, my knees are killing me.
The first cut sank deep I bled dry.
Constantly borrowing love, my transfusions eternal.
Pretended it didn’t hurt for so long I grew numb.
For a split second you were all I could see, breathe.
And now I’m stark naked , raw.
I want you with an aching that’s dissipated all unfeeling.
I’m barely in your universe but when I close my eyes, you’re breathing on my neck , touching me.
I’m infected by your existence.
Your brilliance awakens in me the truth I’d long buried.
I am love, loveable. I do love.
And oh, I want to love you. Consume your every desire.
Let you in, past every barricade and lie detector test.
I’m like a raging bull finely tucked away in a trinket box.
My composure belies the intense passion rising.
You loving me will just be the beginning.
What I have planned will play out in a lifetime.
Somehow a system designed to keep me down has the propensity to make me great?
The gatekeepers hold the cards and the keys
I’ve just become great at reading their faces
They say sit back and we’ll fix your life
If their all up in my business who’s taking care of theirs?
Brings a new meaning to caught up in the matrix.
Dangling rights this rights this.
How are you gonna gift me something that’s not yours anyway ?
Crazy isn’t it?
Tax me, work me but I can’t choose who I sleep with?
Church and state, mutually exclusive?
Something’s got to give.
The thing about being a number is no one cares what you think or how you feel.
Use that, they won’t see you coming.
Im not blind or resigned,
I’m just trying to work out how to get up from underneath you.
It takes a strong soul to carry the weight of the worlds bull.
And a little common sense to realise that even pretension costs a lot these days.
The world had me thinking I had a lot of room to make up,
Things to have to give my life meaning
But at each turn, poor as I was
They robbed me blind.
Now my repossession order is out.
Im Taking back all the basics , self image, self respect and dignity , love for self,
And returning all the lies that made me a beggar in my own life.
Life’s promises are etched on the faces of all the faithful.
We just need to scrap through the excess makeup and see each other for what we really are, light chasers.
But the barriers before me, try to impede my unfolding.
I’ve always been on my path. I just took a few more stops than intended
And now, no matter what’s brought before me,
The truth in me is my only compass.
Brenda Vengesa ©
Wise words can sometimes feel like a shouting match
Everywhere you look words of inspiration spit at you like
Mothers , aunties, sisters and friends telling you that man is no good.
You build up a pyramid of ideas ;
make the ancestors proud.
But it crumbles before your eyes;
You built it on sand.
Last night he whispered to me.
No, I’d bought his book.
Read his every word and he told me his story.
Conformity has been my stagnation.
Trying to tell my story within the confines of my target audience
But life is like that crazy man in the street shouting bible verses and profanities in one.
You either state your case in your own words, time and style
Or yours will always be the case of what could have been.
I know I love this; words in multiple mediums.
A book, poem, song or rhyme.
My heart’s in it.
A multitude of emotions and each one is a story in itself.
Who you love, when and why
That’s always been up to me.
Consequences are inevitable but they aren’t the stumbling blocks.
Ready to to give in before I’d even started.
Prepared for failure before I’ve even put myself forward.
I could be writing this all over again,
Different words, circumstances same emotions.
But today is different,
I’m putting in the work,making it count.
That’s all the success I can handle